00:00 - 00:02
Hello everyone, I am Anthony
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Welcome to my channel
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Programs about education
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We have published 5 issues.
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Today's video
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Let’s put the topic of education aside for now.
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Let's talk about a question that many friends are concerned about.
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Why should people insist on their own personality?
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Before you begin
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I want to say it again
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If you need a transcript of the video
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Basic members who can join my channel
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If you have any topic you need
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Want to discuss and consult with me
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You can also contact my email
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Let’s get back to our topic
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A few days ago
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A netizen shared her confusion with me
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She works for an animation company in North America
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The work is what you like
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My colleagues are also very friendly.
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She has a lot of free time.
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You can explore your own painting and design style
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Pursue other hobbies
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Although the income is not that high
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But she is quite satisfied with her situation.
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Sometimes she doubts
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Do you lack a sense of urgency?
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Too leisurely
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Because from time to time there are people around me who will say
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The income of this job is not high after all
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You should do it when you are young
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Go do those high-paying jobs
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Wait until you make enough money
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Enjoy yourself in middle age
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Being young means striving
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Be prepared for possible risks and crises in the future
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You should invest all your time in professional skills.
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Others believe
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The hobbies she pursues in her spare time
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Currently not available for cash
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At least you have to wait for a longer time.
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Why not do some
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There will be rewards soon.
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Pursue a high-paying job
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Being in the moment means temporarily giving up your own style
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Choose to copy the most popular
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But it is also mechanical and convergent
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Even a bit kitsch style
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I think this
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This is indeed a very common dilemma.
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It is the lack of short-term
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Visualizing the case for rewards and feedback
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How open can you be?
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Keep exploring
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The dilemma we are talking about here
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It means that a person has clearly realized
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The direction you want to explore
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Your preferences and values
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It's just this kind of self-exploration
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It cannot bring much rewards and recognition for the time being.
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You also have to face the judgment and misunderstanding of people around you.
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But the parties can clearly realize
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This is a conflict between self and environment
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If a person does not have a clear preference
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I don’t know what I like or what I want.
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So their problem is
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How to find your own interests and values
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This dilemma
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This is not the dilemma we are going to discuss today.
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In the best case scenario
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Do what you like alone
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Meeting the expectations of others
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You can also get worldly rewards and recognition
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We mentioned this in the previous video.
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In the long run
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The value and rewards of free learning
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is much greater than
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Short-term benefit-oriented learning
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However, in free learning
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Before accumulating enough practical ability
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People will definitely experience loneliness
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and the stage of self-doubt
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Because it is difficult to bring clear output for the time being
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and socially recognized achievements
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In the eyes of people around
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These explorations are a waste of time and meaningless.
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A similar dilemma is to consider family expectations.
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Or the pressure of reality
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Go with someone you don't like that much
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Dating, marriage
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Parents will say
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This guy has a stable job.
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High income, seems to be a down-to-earth person
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Education is also good
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According to the Chinese dating rules
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It's a very good condition.
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It's worthy of our family.
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The parties involved have their own clear judgment
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For example, she might think
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This object lacks a distinct personality and opinion
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Too obedient in front of parents
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She thinks that although this person seems to have a high degree of education
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But lack of stable values and mature insights
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There's no idea.
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In the opinion of the parties
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These unquantifiable intrinsic qualities
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Better than any other job, with higher income
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These quantifiable external conditions are important
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Stick to your own judgment
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It is inevitable that people around you will not understand you.
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Although the parties explained to their parents again and again
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My true thoughts
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But parents always say you are too picky
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In a few years, I won't be able to get married.
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Relatives would also say
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It is more important for a woman to marry well than to work well.
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Surrounded by these sounds
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The parties thought
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I do feel lonely sometimes.
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And this feeling of loneliness does seem to be my own problem
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This is the surrounding environment
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A punishment for being too individualistic
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So these negative feelings
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They all belong to individuals in order to stick to themselves
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The additional cost
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That's it.
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Some people would say
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Anthony, you are talking about sticking to your personality.
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Although it is beautiful to pursue self
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But it sounds too idealistic
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Too much chicken soup
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People always have to face the pressure of reality.
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Well, I want to go off topic for a moment.
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My understanding of idealism
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First of all, different people
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The understanding of this concept varies greatly.
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In the eyes of many people
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Idealism is a beautiful thing.
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But it is not worldly.
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Unreal things
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Many people's ideal of freedom is purely abstract
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It is also very fragile
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They will feel
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My ideal is unrealistic.
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Only then can the brilliance and sacredness of the ideal itself be brought out.
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Many people simply use their own abstract
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Moral ideals to criticize reality
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Point out how fake the real world is
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Calculation between people
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Money, power, these things are so ugly
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Make this judgment and it's over
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Then keep high
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See through the world
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They insist that ideals and reality are absolutely separated
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Irreconcilable
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He can't go into the micro details.
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But this is not the idealism I understand.
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I personally don't like that
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Sentimentalization of freedom and ideals
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and cynical expressions
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In my opinion
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Although it is different from the direct reality
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However, the ideal that is truly alive
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It will definitely become a reality
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Rather than just staying at the abstract value
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And in a state of innocence
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That is to say
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Ideals and reality should be unified in the end
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As Hegel famously said
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All that is rational is realistic
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This sentence can be understood as
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Anything that is rational
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Will realize itself in reality
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We shouldn't presume
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The conflict between ideal and reality is absolute
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We need to learn to look at reality from a spiritual perspective.
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Facing reality
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That is to say, we need to have such insight and vision.
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See the reality that most people understand
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It's not really reality
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Hegel in Phenomenology of Spirit
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There is a passage that says this
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The spirit is only in absolute fragmentation
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When holding on to itself
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Only then did he win his truth
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The reason why spirit is such a force
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Not because it is a positive thing
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Ignore the negative things
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Just like we are negative about something
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Say it is nothing or false
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Just forget it
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And then it turns around like that
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On the contrary, the spirit is this power
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Just because
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It dares to face the negative
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and stay there
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This kind of stay
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It is to deny something
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A magic that turns into existence
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I really appreciate this sentence
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This sentence means that
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Spirit is to have a kind of self-confidence
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Dare to face reality face to face
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To delve into the details of various realities
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To affirm yourself
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The process of spiritual self-realization does not come out of nothing
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Create yourself from the void
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It is more like doing a proof question.
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Prove that the real world is like this
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The real world has realized
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Pre-existing purpose
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The abstract and naive idealism of the former
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Similar to what the ancient Chinese envisioned
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In ancient times, the world belonged to all.
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The ideal of selfless dedication
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Du Fu's ideal is to "make the king Yao and Shun
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"Make the customs pure again"
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He longs for the era of Yao and Shun
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The state where everyone is very simple and innocent
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Bai Juyi faced the officials' extortion and oppression at that time.
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We can only hope to restore the early years of Zhenguan
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There is an emperor like Emperor Taizong of Tang who is very observant
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To rectify the administration
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These ideals are completely abstract.
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Failing to take into account the selfishness and complexity of human nature
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Can only rely on moral education or individual awareness
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The real idealism
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can fully accommodate and understand the complexity of human beings
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Such as selfishness, etc.
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And propose a specific implementation path
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Therefore, it has more realistic vitality
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Kant's theory of perpetual peace
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is to explore the relationship between countries
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How can peace be achieved?
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In the 18th century, when Kant lived
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European countries are still at war every day
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Kant's Perpetual Peace
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And the ideals of the ancient Chinese
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It all seems out of reach.
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Kant's specific path to avoid war
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That is to establish a union of free nations
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and the establishment of a republic
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Today, this is already happening within the EU.
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And make the EU
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Becoming one of the most peaceful and developed regions in the world
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Kant's Ideal
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It is precisely based on
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Humans have reason and free will.
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Humans have free will and reason
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Will disguise yourself
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There is a possibility of doing evil
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But Kant believes
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Even if it's a group of demons
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As long as he is rational
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Eventually you will realize
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The republican system is the best way to protect the interests of both parties.
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So the real ideal
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Will not just stay at the level of abstract values
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Instead, we should face the contradictions and difficulties of reality.
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Propose a more feasible and explanatory solution
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Prove that you are more real
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We emphasize the benefits of free learning
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It is not from the perspective of abstract values.
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Freedom is more moral and better than despotism
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Instead, look for a lot of empirical research and evidence
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To prove that free learning is indeed more efficient
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It is easy for ordinary people to see
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Authoritarian education method works quickly
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Although this is a reality
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But it is the reality at the surface level
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The benefits of free learning
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This is also a reality
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But it requires a certain perspective
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The reality that can be seen
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Therefore, I never thought
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Human selfishness and utilitarianism are themselves shortcomings.
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Care about your own interests
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It is a positive force in itself
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And those actions that are called selfish
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This often goes against one's own long-term interests.
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That is to say
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Shortsightedness is the real shortcoming
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As for human personality
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We say that many people feel that developing their own personality
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Will suffer huge losses
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Choose to give up individuality
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You will get a lot of benefits immediately
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This seems to be a reality
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But it’s largely an illusion
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Because people can easily see
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The tangible loss of self-assertion
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But it's hard to see
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The invisible loss caused by giving up self-exploration
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Because of this invisible loss
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It requires careful observation and thinking to discover
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A person doesn't like programming
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I prefer humanities and social sciences
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But he just thinks programmers earn more
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Easier to find a job
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He would simply take the difference between the income of these two types of work
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As a benefit of his choice of programming job
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But this calculation method is wrong.
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We are going to talk about opportunity cost
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“Opportunity cost” is an economic concept
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It means that when we are in the two options a and b
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When you choose option a
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Should not only consider
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How much benefit can plan A bring us?
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You should also consider
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The potential gain lost by not choosing option B
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It can also be said to be a potential loss
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If a person wants to grow a certain crop
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The capital he has
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He can only choose between planting corn and soybeans.
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So if he chooses to grow corn
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He gave up the profits from growing soybeans.
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He invested 10,000 yuan in growing corn
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Earned a profit of 12,000 yuan
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But if he chooses to grow soybeans
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You can get a profit of 15,000 yuan
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The 3,000 yuan difference
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This is the person who chose to grow corn
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The price paid
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The concept of opportunity cost tells us that
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In real life
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Whether choosing a career
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Buy or rent a house
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Every choice has a hidden cost.
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We need to be concerned about the potential losses of the paths not chosen
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In fact, choose a high income
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But I don't like the job
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The opportunity cost is much higher than expected.
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Underestimating your need for individuality and meaning
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Because this need is hidden and difficult to detect.
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Therefore, it is necessary to reflect in order to discover
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Due to long-term suppression of personality
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and lack of meaningful work
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Individuals often seek compensation in other areas
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To fill the emptiness in my heart
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A typical example is revenge consumption.
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Some people can't control themselves and buy luxury goods
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Even beyond their financial capacity.
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Some people seek special forces travel
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Experience as many luxury hotels and restaurants as possible
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And various popular attractions
12:58 - 13:00
Even though I didn't feel good
13:00 - 13:02
But in order to accumulate enough friends for the next few months
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Still choose to take photos crazily in a short time
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To create a refined living state
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These behaviors
13:10 - 13:11
can be regarded as
13:11 - 13:14
Compensation for the sense of meaninglessness in daily life
13:15 - 13:17
Some people because of their work
13:17 - 13:20
No real personal recognition
13:20 - 13:22
As a result, individuals will feel more lonely
13:22 - 13:24
This intensifies the pressure on those short-term
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Dependence on superficial interpersonal recognition
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They will also be more similar in their attitude towards life
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Although I don't like some fake
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Superficial relationships
13:33 - 13:35
But I just can't refuse
13:35 - 13:38
Excessive participation in unnecessary dinners and drinking parties
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Or spend extra money and time
13:40 - 13:42
To maintain meaningless social interaction
13:42 - 13:45
Another example is constantly buying some cheap recognition
13:45 - 13:47
For example, giving a reward to a female anchor, etc.
13:47 - 13:49
Because individuals fail to pursue bravely
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and explore the meaning of one's life
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So some people will do it in a wrong way.
13:55 - 13:56
To realize your ideal
13:56 - 13:58
A common phenomenon in China
13:59 - 14:02
The ideals and wishes that you have not been able to meet and realize
14:02 - 14:03
Rely on children
14:03 - 14:05
The so-called hope that one's son will become a dragon
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I hope my children will take care of me.
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Fulfill your unfulfilled wishes
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But it’s scary for kids.
14:11 - 14:12
For example, some mothers
14:13 - 14:16
Obsessed with turning children into child prodigies and child stars
14:16 - 14:18
By letting children show up
14:18 - 14:20
I manipulate my children behind the scenes.
14:20 - 14:22
Indirectly satisfy your dream of becoming a star
14:22 - 14:23
On the other hand
14:23 - 14:25
As we strive to explore in life
14:25 - 14:27
and your real interests
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Live your own will
14:28 - 14:31
The potential to creatively express our emotions and thoughts
14:31 - 14:33
Even though it may be hard
14:34 - 14:37
Not many people will recognize and appreciate us for now.
14:37 - 14:40
However, since our living conditions are authentic
14:40 - 14:42
So once someone appreciates me
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This appreciation is for me as a person.
14:46 - 14:47
Rather than external labels
14:47 - 14:50
So the depth of the connection I felt
14:50 - 14:51
It's better than when I'm in a false state
14:52 - 14:53
Receive 10 times the appreciation
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Even stronger
14:55 - 14:58
The quality of interpersonal support is more important than the quantity
14:58 - 15:01
Only interpersonal relationships gained in a real state
15:01 - 15:02
Is effective
15:03 - 15:06
Although in reality he has thousands of fans
15:07 - 15:08
However, he clearly realized
15:08 - 15:12
Fans like him only for the character he plays.
15:12 - 15:14
Therefore, this kind of like and appreciation
15:14 - 15:16
Not only for a person's personality growth
15:16 - 15:17
Not much support
15:17 - 15:19
It is even a kind of shackles and bondage
15:20 - 15:22
A sincere and deep appreciation
15:23 - 15:25
Better than 10,000 superficial likes on the Internet
15:25 - 15:26
Attention and praise
15:26 - 15:29
To bring more happiness and joy to people
15:29 - 15:32
This can be said to be a person who insists on self-exploration.
15:32 - 15:34
Hidden benefits you can enjoy
15:36 - 15:36
Self-identity
15:36 - 15:39
It is a person's most inner and essential need.
15:40 - 15:42
If we can only see people's economic needs
15:42 - 15:43
Physiological needs
15:43 - 15:45
I can't see because I can't know myself
15:45 - 15:47
Unable to express true self
15:47 - 15:49
The mental pain caused
15:49 - 15:51
would mistakenly underestimate the importance of personality
15:52 - 15:55
As a result, individuals are either in some hidden places
15:55 - 15:56
Paid an extra price
15:56 - 15:58
Or transfer this cost to others
15:59 - 16:02
When we consider this high opportunity cost
16:02 - 16:03
Will reconsider
16:03 - 16:06
Many choices that are common in Chinese society
16:06 - 16:09
That's it for today's video
16:09 - 16:10
Finally, let me say
16:10 - 16:12
If you have any confusion or questions
16:12 - 16:13
Want to communicate with me
16:13 - 16:15
Just contact my email directly
16:16 - 16:19
You want to discuss an article or a paragraph with me
16:19 - 16:21
A video, a social phenomenon
16:21 - 16:22
Or your diary
16:23 - 16:25
Please send me the relevant text in advance.
16:25 - 16:28
I will read it before the formal communication
16:28 - 16:31
Or you want to discuss your life experience with me
16:31 - 16:32
Confusion and emotion
16:33 - 16:34
All are possible
16:34 - 16:36
If you are concerned about privacy, security
16:36 - 16:39
Any questions about payment and communication methods
16:39 - 16:41
Please also tell me in time
16:41 - 16:44
If you are unable to pay or join the membership
16:44 - 16:45
Please contact me too
16:45 - 16:47
I will provide other ways
16:47 - 16:49
Please refer to this picture for details
16:50 - 16:51
I will post this video
16:51 - 16:54
Put it in the list of "Psychology and Education"
16:54 - 16:55
Also recommend to everyone
16:55 - 16:57
Check out my other videos in this list
16:58 - 16:59
Thank you for watching
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