00:01 - 00:02
I have a confession.
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I hate groups.
00:05 - 00:10
I hate being in a group, I hate
having to hang out in a group.
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Anything to do with groups, I'm like done,
hate it, get me out of here, Ronnie, no.
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Maybe I'm socially
awkward, I don't know.
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But this is actually a lesson
for me, and you, okay?
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And the back story of
this is I recently joined
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the gardening community,
and it was the first
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time the group was meeting.
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So I was on my bike,
I get off my bike, and
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I see all these people,
and I'm like, humans,
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what do I say?
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And the person who's the leader of
the group says, "Hey, what's your name?"
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I'm like, "I'm Ronnie."
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"Okay, cool."
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So I'm like, and, like, hello.
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So I remember what my friend
told me, and she's not shy like I am.
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She says, "Ronnie, when you go in a group,
first thing you do, introduce yourself to
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everyone."
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Oh man, okay, I can do that.
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So, first person I see sitting down,
"Hey, I'm Ronnie, nice to meet you."
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Huh, no response, okay.
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Next person, "Hey, I'm
Ronnie, nice to meet you."
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"Oh, hey, my name's..."
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Oh, okay, this person
talks, good, okay, good.
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Next, I'm like, I'm not going to
remember anyone's names, but hold on.
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I went to every single
person in that group,
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I think there were
seven people, could be
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six, I don't know,
don't remember.
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And this works like a charm.
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Because when you're in a situation where
there's a whole group of people that don't
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know each other, everyone
feels uncomfortable,
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because a simple
thing like of knowing the
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person's name, it makes you go, oh,
okay, I know that person's name now.
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If you make the effort
to introduce yourself,
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then the people feel
more comfortable with
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They know your name, and this is the
best technique, you can suss people out.
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Now, this might be
a new word for you.
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To suss people out
or sniff them out, you
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can kind of determine
if the people, you see
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what people you like or dislike.
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So, I give everyone I
meet a chance, I'm like,
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cool, everyone's weird,
everyone's awesome.
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But some people, when
I introduce myself to
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them, they're like, oh,
this person's boring.
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Next person.
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So I can determine what people I think are
cool, what people I want to hang out with
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in the group.
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And everyone has their
own opinion, so, you
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know, this person
thinks this person's cool,
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I don't, that's fine.
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You don't have to like
everyone, remember that.
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And you don't have to think everyone's
boring, but if they are, that's cool.
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So, I do this, and
I'm like, hey, this is a
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group, but I notice that
nobody else does this.
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More people come and
join the group, I rock up,
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hey, I'm Ronnie, nice to
meet you, blah, blah, blah.
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Remember, people, I'm shy, okay?
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So don't give me the
excuse, like, I'm shy, it's
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like, me too, but make
the effort, especially
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if English, if you're
in a group of people
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that English is not your
first language, okay?
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Second one, be the connector.
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So, I already told you
to introduce yourself.
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Now, what you're going
to do, and what I should
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have done is I should
have been like, "Hey,
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Julie, have you met Trevor?"
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No, you haven't.
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Julie, meet Trevor.
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And by introducing people, you know, okay,
so Julie, here's Kevin, blah, blah, blah,
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people are shy.
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They need you to be the connector, because
you've already come in the group and been
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like, hey, I'm Ronnie,
blah, blah, and people
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go, oh, okay, Ronnie
knows people, yeah.
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So they're shy, they're like,
oh, I really want to meet...
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I really want to meet Kevin.
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So I'm like, hey, Julie, come
here, come and meet Kevin.
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Oh, hey, what's up?
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So you connect people
together, and that helps them.
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It helps the group
become better.
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Now, you might think,
well, Ronnie, like, what...
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Where would I ever use this?
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I don't...
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I don't go out drinking, I don't go to
pubs, I'm not really a group situation.
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Are you a teacher?
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Or do you want to be a teacher?
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This is important
classroom stuff, too.
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You're in a classroom,
you've got a group of
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people, they're
nervous, they're shy, they
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don't want to be there, they're excited,
they're nervous, they have to pee.
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It's your job as a teacher
to be the connector.
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You have to get people comfortable in
your classroom, and you've got to keep...
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Get people talking or shutting up,
depending on what you're doing over there.
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So, once you've got the
other people connected,
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you start maybe
talking about something.
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So, let's say I break off
and I'm like, "Oh, yeah, hey.
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Hey, John, what's up?
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Oh, I like your t-shirt.
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That's cool.
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Yeah, you like Led Zeppelin?
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So, what I've done is I've taken one person
out of the group, but I notice that there's
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people outside of the group that don't have
anyone to talk to, and you have to include
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the other people.
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Like, "Hey, Tony.
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Come here, man.
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I want you to meet John.
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He likes the same bands as you."
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Get people to be inclusive.
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Get people together.
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If you're talking about
movies, and you know
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this guy likes movies,
and this girl likes
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movies, you can have
a movie discussion.
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Do your part to never
let someone stand outside
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of the group unless
they've, you know, around...
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I don't know, on a phone call or something,
but make sure that everyone feels wanted in
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Really important, I live
in a huge metropolitan
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city where we have
millions of people.
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No, that's...
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Yeah, we do.
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And we all speak
different languages.
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But when you're in a group situation
together, please speak the same language.
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Make sure it's English or
whatever the language is.
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Again, make sure
that you are inclusive.
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Include the people in the group.
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Don't start talking, like, another language
when other people don't know that language,
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because that makes
people uncomfortable.
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They go, "They must
be talking about me."
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Talk about general topics.
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This is one of my fun things.
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When I meet people, I'm
like, "When's your birthday?
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And tell me your top 5 or 10
bands, because I like music, right?"
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And ask everyone
the same question.
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If you're sitting at
a table and it's very
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uncomfortable, nobody's
talking, you can say...
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Start with the person, and you have to go,
"Hey, what do you think about, uh, bottled
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water?"
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And then go around the
table and ask everyone's
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opinion, because,
again, you want to include
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You don't want people
breaking off into little
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groups, because the
people that don't have
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someone to talk to,
they feel uncomfortable.
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Don't...
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Don't run away.
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Make sure that you ask
everyone the same thing.
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Don't skip one person, like, "Yeah, okay,
yeah, oh, icebreakers, I hate these, oh my
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So it's the first time
you meet someone in
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a group, and they're
like, "Okay, everybody,
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please tell us your name and
an interesting fact about you."
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I'm like, "Fuck, I don't know.
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I don't know.
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I don't know.
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I don't know.
I don't know.
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I don't know.
I don't know.
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I don't know.
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Make up bullshit.
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Ronnie, okay, um, um,
um, um, um, um, um, um.
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My name's Ronnie, I know that part, and
I really like to eat hamsters on Tuesday."
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Oh my god, that
was absolutely a lie.
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What did I just say?
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So, "icebreakers" are
kind of weird when you
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put people on the
spot, like, "Tell me an
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interesting fact
about yourself."
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"Uh, I don't know.
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Those are hard."
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So, instead of doing "icebreakers",
you can do drinking games.
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You can play board games,
you can play card games.
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People love Uno.
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Everyone loves a game of Uno.
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So again, include everyone.
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Play games, play
video games together.
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I don't know what games you want to play,
whatever you're doing, have it, do it, but
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make sure everyone's involved.
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And if people don't want
to play it, that's okay.
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People just...
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Put your fucking phone away.
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Again, put your phone away.
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You're in a group, you're
trying to have conversations,
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you're trying to learn
a new language, put
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your phone away.
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There's no reason to be
texting your mom at this point.
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Put your phone away.
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Yeah, because you're never going to
learn if you don't put your phone away.
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Have you seen a
pattern emerging?
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Now, up until this
list, these are things
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that I'm telling you to
do because it's good
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I'll tell you what I do in a group
because, as I told you before, I'm shy.
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I hate groups.
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I don't like them.
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They make me nervous, I don't like meeting
people, and this is the hardest thing for
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But once you do
that, everything's cool.
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I remember being a
kid, and I had to go to,
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like, I don't know,
tennis camp or whatever,
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and there'd be a group of people, and
I'm like, "I don't want to talk to anyone."
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What I do is I latch
on to one person.
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So "latch on to one person" means that
you're like, "Hi, will you be my friend?"
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So you've got that one person
in the group that's your friend.
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All the other people,
they're cool, too, but
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this is where the fun
begins in the group.
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What you can do is
you can "take the piss".
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You have to go to the bathroom?
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"Take the piss" means
you can make fun of people.
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Nuh-uh, maybe the people
in the group, it doesn't matter.
10:04 - 10:06
Maybe the teacher,
it doesn't matter.
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But you've got a friend that
you will feel confident with.
10:11 - 10:16
You can enjoy the group activities because
you know your friend is there and going to
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hang out with you.
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You can make side
comments to your friend.
10:21 - 10:22
Do you have staff meetings?
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Are they boring?
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So if you've got, like,
a co-worker who's in
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the group, you're
like, "Hey, Jack, wasn't
10:33 - 10:33
that bullshit?
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This guy's...
10:34 - 10:35
This guy's..."
10:36 - 10:38
You're having a good
time in the group now.
10:38 - 10:39
You don't have to be shy.
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You don't have to feel
uncomfortable in your
10:42 - 10:44
staff meeting with all
the other humans there.
10:45 - 10:46
You've got a friend.
10:47 - 10:48
And the last one...
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No, the second
last one, "drink".
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It's the social lubricant.
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Hey, man, if you want to
drink a glass of milk, go ahead.
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I'm talking about
booze, alcohol.
11:03 - 11:07
I don't know what
happens, but when we start
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to drink, we lose
all of our inhibitions.
11:10 - 11:14
We lose our nervousness, we
lose our stress, and we're just like...
11:15 - 11:17
We're like wild animals.
11:17 - 11:19
We're all these
emos walking around.
11:21 - 11:22
It makes you...
11:22 - 11:22
I don't know.
11:22 - 11:23
Talk to people more.
11:23 - 11:29
So, probably at a staff meeting with your
co-workers, you maybe can't drink, but hey,
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you can sneak in that vodka.
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And then this is one that...
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I don't know.
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Think of a compliment for
each person in the group.
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So, I look up to this group, and I think,
"Oh my god, what am I going to say to these
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How am I ever going
to relate to them?
11:52 - 11:55
We have nothing in
common, I've never met them
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before, I don't know
anything about them",
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and I go, "Oh, hey,
do you know what?
12:01 - 12:04
I like that person's
shoes, those are cool."
12:04 - 12:08
And you know, when I was
introducing myself, I thought that this...
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This person here had a cool t-shirt, yeah,
this person, I didn't really like them, but
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they didn't have bad breath,
so that's a plus for them.
12:20 - 12:22
Oh, yeah, this
guy's got cool hair.
12:22 - 12:28
So, when it's time for you to talk to the
person one-on-one, you can compliment them.
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Think of a compliment for each
person, and go, "Hey, do you know what?
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You have some cool shoes."
12:35 - 12:37
People love compliments.
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"Oh, man, that's a cool
t-shirt, where'd you get it?"
12:42 - 12:42
"Yeah, cool.
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Oh, nice."
12:44 - 12:46
The more you compliment
people, I don't know
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why, humans are
weird, they're like, "Oh,
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Okay, yeah, I'm cool.
12:50 - 12:52
Oh, yeah, this is fun."
12:52 - 12:54
So lift people up, don't bring
people down in the group.
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And if you have
tips, let me know.
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How do you deal with groups?
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Do you like groups?
13:02 - 13:03
Are you the leader of the group?
13:03 - 13:07
Are you the silent
observer in the group?
13:08 - 13:11
I'm the silent observer,
unless I have to be the leader.
13:12 - 13:12
What are you?
13:12 - 13:15
Let me know in the
comments, and let me know
13:15 - 13:18
how you deal with
these group situations.
13:19 - 13:20
I'm off to be alone now.