00:00 - 00:02

Hello everyone, I am Anthony

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Welcome to my channel

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Programs about education

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We have published 5 issues.

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Today's video

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Let’s put the topic of education aside for now.

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Let's talk about a question that many friends are concerned about.

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Why should people insist on their own personality?

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Before you begin

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I want to say it again

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If you need a transcript of the video

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Basic members who can join my channel

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If you have any topic you need

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Want to discuss and consult with me

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You can also contact my email

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Let’s get back to our topic

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A few days ago

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A netizen shared her confusion with me

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She works for an animation company in North America

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The work is what you like

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My colleagues are also very friendly.

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She has a lot of free time.

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You can explore your own painting and design style

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Pursue other hobbies

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Although the income is not that high

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But she is quite satisfied with her situation.

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but

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Sometimes she doubts

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Do you lack a sense of urgency?

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Too leisurely

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Because from time to time there are people around me who will say

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The income of this job is not high after all

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You should do it when you are young

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Go do those high-paying jobs

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Wait until you make enough money

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Enjoy yourself in middle age

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Others say

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Being young means striving

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Be prepared for possible risks and crises in the future

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You should invest all your time in professional skills.

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Others believe

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The hobbies she pursues in her spare time

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Currently not available for cash

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At least you have to wait for a longer time.

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Why not do some

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There will be rewards soon.

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But for her

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Pursue a high-paying job

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Being in the moment means temporarily giving up your own style

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Choose to copy the most popular

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But it is also mechanical and convergent

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Even a bit kitsch style

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I think this

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This is indeed a very common dilemma.

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It is the lack of short-term

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Visualizing the case for rewards and feedback

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How open can you be?

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Keep exploring

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certainly

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The dilemma we are talking about here

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It means that a person has clearly realized

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The direction you want to explore

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Your preferences and values

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It's just this kind of self-exploration

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It cannot bring much rewards and recognition for the time being.

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You also have to face the judgment and misunderstanding of people around you.

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But the parties can clearly realize

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This is a conflict between self and environment

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If a person does not have a clear preference

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I don’t know what I like or what I want.

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So their problem is

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How to find your own interests and values

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This dilemma

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This is not the dilemma we are going to discuss today.

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In the best case scenario

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Do what you like alone

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Meeting the expectations of others

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You can also get worldly rewards and recognition

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for example

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We mentioned this in the previous video.

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In the long run

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The value and rewards of free learning

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is much greater than

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Short-term benefit-oriented learning

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However, in free learning

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Before accumulating enough practical ability

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People will definitely experience loneliness

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and the stage of self-doubt

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Because it is difficult to bring clear output for the time being

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and socially recognized achievements

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In the eyes of people around

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These explorations are a waste of time and meaningless.

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In China

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A similar dilemma is to consider family expectations.

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Or the pressure of reality

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Go with someone you don't like that much

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Dating, marriage

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for example

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Parents will say

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This guy has a stable job.

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High income, seems to be a down-to-earth person

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Education is also good

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According to the Chinese dating rules

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It's a very good condition.

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It's worthy of our family.

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However

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The parties involved have their own clear judgment

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For example, she might think

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This object lacks a distinct personality and opinion

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Too obedient in front of parents

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For example

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She thinks that although this person seems to have a high degree of education

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But lack of stable values ​​and mature insights

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There's no idea.

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In the opinion of the parties

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These unquantifiable intrinsic qualities

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Better than any other job, with higher income

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These quantifiable external conditions are important

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However

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Stick to your own judgment

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It is inevitable that people around you will not understand you.

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for example

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Although the parties explained to their parents again and again

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My true thoughts

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But parents always say you are too picky

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In a few years, I won't be able to get married.

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Relatives would also say

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It is more important for a woman to marry well than to work well.

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Surrounded by these sounds

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The parties thought

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I do feel lonely sometimes.

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And this feeling of loneliness does seem to be my own problem

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Even feel

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This is the surrounding environment

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A punishment for being too individualistic

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So these negative feelings

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They all belong to individuals in order to stick to themselves

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The additional cost

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That's it.

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Some people would say

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Anthony, you are talking about sticking to your personality.

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Although it is beautiful to pursue self

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But it sounds too idealistic

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Too much chicken soup

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People always have to face the pressure of reality.

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Well, I want to go off topic for a moment.

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My understanding of idealism

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First of all, different people

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The understanding of this concept varies greatly.

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In the eyes of many people

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Idealism is a beautiful thing.

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But it is not worldly.

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Unreal things

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Many people's ideal of freedom is purely abstract

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It is also very fragile

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They will feel

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My ideal is unrealistic.

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Only then can the brilliance and sacredness of the ideal itself be brought out.

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therefore

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Many people simply use their own abstract

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Moral ideals to criticize reality

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Point out how fake the real world is

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Calculation between people

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Money, power, these things are so ugly

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Make this judgment and it's over

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Then keep high

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See through the world

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They insist that ideals and reality are absolutely separated

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Irreconcilable

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He can't go into the micro details.

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But this is not the idealism I understand.

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I personally don't like that

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Sentimentalization of freedom and ideals

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and cynical expressions

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In my opinion

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Although it is different from the direct reality

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However, the ideal that is truly alive

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It will definitely become a reality

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Rather than just staying at the abstract value

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And in a state of innocence

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That is to say

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Ideals and reality should be unified in the end

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As Hegel famously said

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All that is rational is realistic

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This sentence can be understood as

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Anything that is rational

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Will realize itself in reality

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This means

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We shouldn't presume

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The conflict between ideal and reality is absolute

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We need to learn to look at reality from a spiritual perspective.

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Facing reality

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That is to say, we need to have such insight and vision.

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See the reality that most people understand

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It's not really reality

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Hegel in Phenomenology of Spirit

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There is a passage that says this

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The spirit is only in absolute fragmentation

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When holding on to itself

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Only then did he win his truth

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The reason why spirit is such a force

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Not because it is a positive thing

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Ignore the negative things

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Just like we are negative about something

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Say it is nothing or false

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Just forget it

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And then it turns around like that

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On the contrary, the spirit is this power

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Just because

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It dares to face the negative

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and stay there

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This kind of stay

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It is to deny something

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A magic that turns into existence

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I really appreciate this sentence

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This sentence means that

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Spirit is to have a kind of self-confidence

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Dare to face reality face to face

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To delve into the details of various realities

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To affirm yourself

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The process of spiritual self-realization does not come out of nothing

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Create yourself from the void

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It is more like doing a proof question.

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Prove that the real world is like this

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The real world has realized

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Pre-existing purpose

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For example

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The abstract and naive idealism of the former

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Similar to what the ancient Chinese envisioned

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In ancient times, the world belonged to all.

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The ideal of selfless dedication

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for example

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Du Fu's ideal is to "make the king Yao and Shun

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"Make the customs pure again"

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He longs for the era of Yao and Shun

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The state where everyone is very simple and innocent

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Bai Juyi faced the officials' extortion and oppression at that time.

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We can only hope to restore the early years of Zhenguan

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There is an emperor like Emperor Taizong of Tang who is very observant

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To rectify the administration

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These ideals are completely abstract.

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Failing to take into account the selfishness and complexity of human nature

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Can only rely on moral education or individual awareness

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The real idealism

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can fully accommodate and understand the complexity of human beings

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Such as selfishness, etc.

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And propose a specific implementation path

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Therefore, it has more realistic vitality

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for example

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Kant's theory of perpetual peace

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is to explore the relationship between countries

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How can peace be achieved?

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In the 18th century, when Kant lived

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European countries are still at war every day

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Kant's Perpetual Peace

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And the ideals of the ancient Chinese

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It all seems out of reach.

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However

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Kant's specific path to avoid war

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That is to establish a union of free nations

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and the establishment of a republic

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Today, this is already happening within the EU.

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And make the EU

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Becoming one of the most peaceful and developed regions in the world

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Kant's Ideal

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It is precisely based on

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Humans have reason and free will.

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Humans have free will and reason

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Will disguise yourself

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There is a possibility of doing evil

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But Kant believes

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Even if it's a group of demons

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As long as he is rational

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Eventually you will realize

09:22 - 09:25

The republican system is the best way to protect the interests of both parties.

09:25 - 09:27

So the real ideal

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Will not just stay at the level of abstract values

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Instead, we should face the contradictions and difficulties of reality.

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Propose a more feasible and explanatory solution

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Prove that you are more real

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for example

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We emphasize the benefits of free learning

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It is not from the perspective of abstract values.

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Freedom is more moral and better than despotism

09:47 - 09:49

Instead, look for a lot of empirical research and evidence

09:50 - 09:53

To prove that free learning is indeed more efficient

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It is easy for ordinary people to see

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Authoritarian education method works quickly

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Although this is a reality

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But it is the reality at the surface level

10:01 - 10:04

The benefits of free learning

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This is also a reality

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But it requires a certain perspective

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The reality that can be seen

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Therefore, I never thought

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Human selfishness and utilitarianism are themselves shortcomings.

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Care about your own interests

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It is a positive force in itself

10:17 - 10:19

And those actions that are called selfish

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This often goes against one's own long-term interests.

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That is to say

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Shortsightedness is the real shortcoming

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As for human personality

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We say that many people feel that developing their own personality

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Will suffer huge losses

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Choose to give up individuality

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You will get a lot of benefits immediately

10:36 - 10:37

This seems to be a reality

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But it’s largely an illusion

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Because people can easily see

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The tangible loss of self-assertion

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But it's hard to see

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The invisible loss caused by giving up self-exploration

10:49 - 10:51

Because of this invisible loss

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It requires careful observation and thinking to discover

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for example

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A person doesn't like programming

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I prefer humanities and social sciences

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But he just thinks programmers earn more

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Easier to find a job

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He would simply take the difference between the income of these two types of work

11:06 - 11:08

As a benefit of his choice of programming job

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But this calculation method is wrong.

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here

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We are going to talk about opportunity cost

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“Opportunity cost” is an economic concept

11:18 - 11:21

It means that when we are in the two options a and b

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When you choose option a

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Should not only consider

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How much benefit can plan A bring us?

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You should also consider

11:27 - 11:31

The potential gain lost by not choosing option B

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It can also be said to be a potential loss

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If a person wants to grow a certain crop

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The capital he has

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He can only choose between planting corn and soybeans.

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Select One

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So if he chooses to grow corn

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It means

11:44 - 11:47

He gave up the profits from growing soybeans.

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for example

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He invested 10,000 yuan in growing corn

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Earned a profit of 12,000 yuan

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But if he chooses to grow soybeans

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You can get a profit of 15,000 yuan

11:57 - 11:59

The 3,000 yuan difference

11:59 - 12:01

This is the person who chose to grow corn

12:01 - 12:02

The price paid

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The concept of opportunity cost tells us that

12:05 - 12:06

In real life

12:06 - 12:08

Whether choosing a career

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Buy or rent a house

12:10 - 12:12

Every choice has a hidden cost.

12:12 - 12:15

We need to be concerned about the potential losses of the paths not chosen

12:16 - 12:18

In fact, choose a high income

12:18 - 12:20

But I don't like the job

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The opportunity cost is much higher than expected.

12:23 - 12:24

Most people

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Underestimating your need for individuality and meaning

12:27 - 12:29

Because this need is hidden and difficult to detect.

12:30 - 12:32

Therefore, it is necessary to reflect in order to discover

12:33 - 12:33

for example

12:33 - 12:35

Due to long-term suppression of personality

12:35 - 12:37

and lack of meaningful work

12:37 - 12:40

Individuals often seek compensation in other areas

12:40 - 12:42

To fill the emptiness in my heart

12:42 - 12:45

A typical example is revenge consumption.

12:45 - 12:47

Some people can't control themselves and buy luxury goods

12:47 - 12:50

Even beyond their financial capacity.

12:50 - 12:52

Some people seek special forces travel

12:52 - 12:56

Experience as many luxury hotels and restaurants as possible

12:56 - 12:58

And various popular attractions

12:58 - 13:00

Even though I didn't feel good

13:00 - 13:02

But in order to accumulate enough friends for the next few months

13:02 - 13:05

Still choose to take photos crazily in a short time

13:05 - 13:08

To create a refined living state

13:09 - 13:10

These behaviors

13:10 - 13:11

can be regarded as

13:11 - 13:14

Compensation for the sense of meaninglessness in daily life

13:14 - 13:15

Same reason

13:15 - 13:17

Some people because of their work

13:17 - 13:20

No real personal recognition

13:20 - 13:22

As a result, individuals will feel more lonely

13:22 - 13:24

This intensifies the pressure on those short-term

13:24 - 13:26

Dependence on superficial interpersonal recognition

13:26 - 13:28

They will also be more similar in their attitude towards life

13:29 - 13:29

for example

13:29 - 13:32

Although I don't like some fake

13:32 - 13:33

Superficial relationships

13:33 - 13:35

But I just can't refuse

13:35 - 13:38

Excessive participation in unnecessary dinners and drinking parties

13:38 - 13:40

Or spend extra money and time

13:40 - 13:42

To maintain meaningless social interaction

13:42 - 13:45

Another example is constantly buying some cheap recognition

13:45 - 13:47

For example, giving a reward to a female anchor, etc.

13:47 - 13:49

Because individuals fail to pursue bravely

13:49 - 13:51

and explore the meaning of one's life

13:52 - 13:55

So some people will do it in a wrong way.

13:55 - 13:56

To realize your ideal

13:56 - 13:58

A common phenomenon in China

13:59 - 13:59

that is

13:59 - 14:02

The ideals and wishes that you have not been able to meet and realize

14:02 - 14:03

Rely on children

14:03 - 14:05

The so-called hope that one's son will become a dragon

14:05 - 14:06

I hope my children will take care of me.

14:06 - 14:08

Fulfill your unfulfilled wishes

14:08 - 14:11

But it’s scary for kids.

14:11 - 14:12

For example, some mothers

14:13 - 14:16

Obsessed with turning children into child prodigies and child stars

14:16 - 14:18

By letting children show up

14:18 - 14:20

I manipulate my children behind the scenes.

14:20 - 14:22

Indirectly satisfy your dream of becoming a star

14:22 - 14:23

On the other hand

14:23 - 14:25

As we strive to explore in life

14:25 - 14:27

and your real interests

14:27 - 14:28

Live your own will

14:28 - 14:31

The potential to creatively express our emotions and thoughts

14:31 - 14:33

Even though it may be hard

14:33 - 14:34

and

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Not many people will recognize and appreciate us for now.

14:37 - 14:40

However, since our living conditions are authentic

14:40 - 14:42

So once someone appreciates me

14:42 - 14:43

It means

14:43 - 14:45

This appreciation is for me as a person.

14:46 - 14:47

Rather than external labels

14:47 - 14:50

So the depth of the connection I felt

14:50 - 14:51

It's better than when I'm in a false state

14:52 - 14:53

Receive 10 times the appreciation

14:53 - 14:54

Even stronger

14:54 - 14:55

We say

14:55 - 14:58

The quality of interpersonal support is more important than the quantity

14:58 - 15:01

Only interpersonal relationships gained in a real state

15:01 - 15:02

Is effective

15:03 - 15:03

Some stars

15:03 - 15:06

Although in reality he has thousands of fans

15:07 - 15:08

However, he clearly realized

15:08 - 15:12

Fans like him only for the character he plays.

15:12 - 15:14

Therefore, this kind of like and appreciation

15:14 - 15:16

Not only for a person's personality growth

15:16 - 15:17

Not much support

15:17 - 15:19

It is even a kind of shackles and bondage

15:20 - 15:22

A sincere and deep appreciation

15:23 - 15:25

Better than 10,000 superficial likes on the Internet

15:25 - 15:26

Attention and praise

15:26 - 15:29

To bring more happiness and joy to people

15:29 - 15:32

This can be said to be a person who insists on self-exploration.

15:32 - 15:34

Hidden benefits you can enjoy

15:34 - 15:36

So we say

15:36 - 15:36

Self-identity

15:36 - 15:39

It is a person's most inner and essential need.

15:40 - 15:42

If we can only see people's economic needs

15:42 - 15:43

Physiological needs

15:43 - 15:45

I can't see because I can't know myself

15:45 - 15:47

Unable to express true self

15:47 - 15:49

The mental pain caused

15:49 - 15:51

would mistakenly underestimate the importance of personality

15:52 - 15:55

As a result, individuals are either in some hidden places

15:55 - 15:56

Paid an extra price

15:56 - 15:58

Or transfer this cost to others

15:59 - 16:02

When we consider this high opportunity cost

16:02 - 16:03

Will reconsider

16:03 - 16:06

Many choices that are common in Chinese society

16:06 - 16:09

That's it for today's video

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Finally, let me say

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16:59 - 17:00

goodbye!

Exploring Personality and Self-Identity

In a world where societal norms and expectations often clash with individual values and preferences, the question of self-identity becomes crucial. It's common for individuals to grapple with the dilemma of personal exploration versus conformity to external standards, whether in career choices, relationships, or personal growth.

When faced with such dilemmas, individuals are torn between adhering to their own unique aspirations and bowing to the pressures of societal norms. This struggle is vividly illustrated through the story of a young woman working at an animation company in North America. Despite enjoying her work and pursuing her hobbies, she faces doubts and external pressures to conform to conventional career paths for financial stability.

The core issue lies in the conflict between short-term tangible benefits and the intrinsic value of personal exploration. Many individuals fail to recognize the concept of opportunity cost in their decision-making processes. The concept emphasizes that every choice we make involves hidden costs, especially when sacrificing personal fulfillment for immediate gains.

The Real Cost of Conformity

The consequences of forsaking personal identity for societal validation can lead to a sense of emptiness and superficial compensatory behaviors. People often engage in activities like excessive spending, seeking approval from others, or projecting their unmet aspirations onto their children. These actions, driven by unfulfilled personal exploration, only perpetuate a cycle of longing for meaning and validation.

Embracing Authenticity and Self-Exploration

On the contrary, individuals who embrace self-exploration and uphold their unique personalities find a deeper sense of fulfillment and connection. Authenticity in one's pursuits and relationships leads to genuine appreciation and meaningful connections, surpassing the shallow veneer of external validations.

In essence, the journey towards self-identity is a transformative process that demands courage, introspection, and a willingness to face societal norms. It requires individuals to recognize the hidden costs of conformity and the profound rewards of self-exploration. By valuing one's intrinsic desires and personal growth, individuals can find true fulfillment and build genuine connections that transcend superficiality.

As we navigate the complexities of personal identity and societal expectations, let us remember that true happiness stems from embracing our authentic selves and daring to explore the depths of our individuality.

So, let's embark on a journey of self-discovery, where the pursuit of personal identity leads to a life filled with purpose, authenticity, and genuine connections.

Reflect on what truly defines you, for in that exploration lies the key to unlocking your fullest potential and experiencing the richness of a life lived authentically.